A Dog's Reflection From Fuzzy's POV (2024)

A Dog’s Reflection is a classic from the collection of Aesop’s Fables, with a message of how greed can lead to some very costly behavior.

But in the hands of Fuzzy, the story takes a few rather bizarre twists.

ANNOUNCER – It’s time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Erm, well, sort of.

It’s Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning Jolt.

A Dog’s Reflection

FUZZY – And good morning boys and girls, it’s time to reboot another classic episode. It’s A Dog’s Reflection, Version 2.0.

One day, a dog was given a meaty bone by his master. As he scampered off to eat in privacy, he met up with two rottweilers named Fred and Lamont as he crossed a bridge.

FRED – Well, look at what we have here. A nice meaty bone. I can fetch a nice price for that at the junkyard. How about I offer you a dollar for that scrap?

LAMONT – Don’t you think that’s a lowball offer, Daddy? A Slim Jim has less meat than what’s on that bone.

FRED – How about I pop you in the meat bone and meat head? Now shut up, you big dummy, I’m negotiating here.

DOG – Well, well, well, if it isn’t Sanford and Son. Are you still scheming people out of their possessions? Wouldn’t it be easier to become a street performer and just fake heart attacks for money?

DOG – Oh lord, your acting’s more over the top than that stupid Sylvester Stallone movie.

FRED – Damn it, ya punk. That’s called the Golden Globe Award for Best Actor. Now if you don’t give me that meaty bone, I’ll send Aunt Esther to teach you a lesson.

AUNT ESTHER – I’m so mad at you I could jump down your throat and stop your liver.

DOG – Oh boy, maybe now’s a good time to start drinking.

FUZZY – As insults flew, the dog with the meaty bone noticed his reflection in a puddle of water before him. Losing his train of thought, he was taken by his own image.

Why, who is this handsome fella I see? I never know I was a bulldog. I always thought I was a Jack Terrier.

LAMONT – Actually, I disagree. You’re more of a bull terrier because of your spotted black eye.

DOG – A bull terrier? Why, holy sh**, there’s a new Spuds MacKenzie in the house. I could hook up with the ladies and get some tail too.

Hey Sanford and son, do you have a pair of black Raybans and aBud Light you can sell me? I just hope I don’t die of kidney failure first.

FRED – Yeah, I got a pair. The lens is cracked and one of the arms is missing. How about a thousand dollars, Spuds?

FUZZY – Oh, he is such a thief, but I do feel like watching old reruns of Sanford and Son. Let me break out the old rabbit ears and see what I can watch.

I’ll see you guys later.

MORE FUZZY’S FRACTURED FAIRY TALES